


Everything Until Now

by armads



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuuin no Tsurugi | Fire Emblem: Binding Blade, Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken | Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword
Genre: Confessions, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, post fe7/pre fe6, viva la old elihec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 18:05:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16164086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armads/pseuds/armads
Summary: His love for Eliwood was a quiet, constant thing, always thrumming in the background, sure and subtle as the blood that coursed through his veins. He had lost track of where friendship ended and something more began, so entangled were his feelings and their bond with his very sense of self.





	Everything Until Now

Eliwood arrived at Castle Ostia well after dark. Fireflies bobbed lazily about his carriage as they passed through the outer walls and the night guard peered suspiciously at his procession, relaxing only when they recognized the emblem of Pherae and its Marquess's shock of red hair.

Had he been any other visitor, he would have been shown to his quarters for the evening. Instead, an attendant informed him that Lord Hector was working late in his private study. They both knew that Eliwood needed no further direction or accompaniment; he knew the Ostian fortress just as well as his own home.

He found the door to the study slightly ajar, allowing flickering torchlight to seep out into the corridor, and Eliwood knocked twice upon the heavy wood before letting himself in.

Hector was hunched over a broad table, a map and several scrolls of paper spread haphazardly before him. His forehead was wrinkled with concentration and he was muttering crossly to himself, but when he glanced up and found Eliwood there, all severity in his expression fell away. He beamed.

"About damn time!" Hector swept his friend up in a full body hug, nearly lifting him off the floor.

Eliwood laughed into his shoulder, giddy and muffled. "I missed you, too."

They released one another and Eliwood smoothed his tunic, nodding toward the now abandoned work. "Am I interrupting?"

"Not a chance. I've been at this too long as it is." Hector stretched, the movement punctuated by the popping of a joint, then sank into a long sofa that sat beneath the room's lone window, smile still plastered to his face. "I'd much rather hear your latest news. How's that son of yours?"

Eliwood took a seat beside him and launched enthusiastically into a report of Roy's progress in his recent lessons. Hector listened intently, then countered with the story of Lilina's latest mischief. "Six years old and already too clever for her old man!" he lamented as Eliwood nearly doubled over with laughter.

They chatted animatedly, catching up on all manner of things, ranging from a riot in a coastal town, to an upcoming festival, to Hector's newest pair of boots, until, eventually, they came to a lull in their conversation, and Eliwood remembered suddenly that there was another matter he'd meant to discuss.

"I saw Lyndis not long ago," he began. He fought the urge to nervously clear his throat as thorny tendrils of anxiety took root in the center of his chest.

"Lyn! That scoundrel." Hector was oblivious. "I haven't heard from her in ages. She still owes me a rematch, you know."

"Yes, well, she and a few of our old friends were getting together, and I happened to be in the area. It was a bit of a spectacle really, but it was nice to see everyone." Eliwood swallowed, hard, but continued to feign nonchalance, a strained smile upon his lips. "Your name was brought up once or twice."

"Oh? Swapping tales of my great victories? Or boasting about having the most heroic ally in all of Lycia?"

"Not exactly." Eliwood's voice was small and Hector's cocky grin faltered.

"What, then?"

"There was a bit of drinking involved, you see, and—well, you know how Sain gets to talking when he's inebriated, and—"

"Eliwood, spit it out."

Eliwood took a deep breath in, let it out in a huff. He forced himself to look Hector in the face.

"Hector, do you... Do you fancy me?"

He didn't react.

Eliwood had expected him to laugh it off, to demand to know who would spread such a ludicrous rumor, to do _something_ , but Hector merely sat there, jaw clenched and brows furrowed.

"So what if I do?" he said at last.

Eliwood's world was thrown off its axis. His pulse raced as his mind pored over their every interaction, every smile, every touch. They'd revolved around one another for so long now. Surely there must have been some tell, some key moment that he'd overlooked.

"Why didn't you tell me?" It sounded strangely like a plea.

Hector hesitated. He had told him a hundred times over, in his own ways. Jokes shared in hushed tones amidst stuffy League meetings; frequent letters signed _yours_ ; a fist and an axe always ready at his defense, on the battlefield or off; _I love you, I love you, I love you._

"I value our friendship too much to..." Hector trailed off, running a hand through his hair and frowning. "I wasn't sure what you'd think."

Eliwood was quiet for a long moment. "You know that I hold nothing but admiration for you."

"Oh, come off it, will you?" Hector's voice was louder and sharper than he'd intended, but he found that he couldn't hold himself back. "I don't want your damned pity."

He had no interest in being let down easily. All their lives, they'd been open and forthright with one another on all topics but this. If Hector was being made to lay bare his soul, the least Eliwood could do was face him with honesty.

"I've known from the start how pointless it is," he spat. "Maybe that's why I hid it from you."

Eliwood gripped his shoulder and Hector fell silent, though his agitation still simmered just below the surface.

"You didn't let me finish," Eliwood said. Slowly, he lifted his hand and pressed his palm to Hector's cheek. "I admire you—perhaps more than any man I've ever known."

Hector was no stranger to his touch, close as they had been all these years, but the warmth of Eliwood's gaze and the way his fingers trailed over his skin, venturing into the dark hair of his sideburns, made him sure somehow that this was something more. He felt doubt roiling in his stomach even as nervous heat rose to his face.

"I would never ask you to think of me that way."

"What if... you didn't have to ask?"

Eliwood kissed him then, soft and sweet and fleeting. It was the most tender kiss Hector had ever received, and it ended just as quickly as it began.

"I'm sorry," Eliwood breathed. He lingered in close proximity, lashes fanned over flushed cheeks, his words ghosting over Hector's lips. "I just wanted..."

"What?" Hector's stare was intense, his eyes cold steel beneath the serious set of his brow. Only his heart betrayed him as it thundered audibly in his chest.

Eliwood opened his eyes, and that all too familiar shade of blue was full of a conviction that Hector didn't have the time to decipher because then, Eliwood was kissing him again.

Their movements were cautious at first, the press of their lips chaste and slow, but Hector could curb his enthusiasm for only so long. His hands, previously fisted tightly in his lap, came to rest at Eliwood's waist, then gradually found their way up his back, drawing him in close against his chest.

Eliwood had draped one arm over Hector's shoulder, his fingers combing absently, distractingly through the hair at the nape of his neck. The other hand remained pressed to Hector's jaw, angling him so that their lips could meet again, and again, and again.

"You apologize too much," Hector muttered, forehead pressed to Eliwood's affectionately. They'd paused to catch their breath, but he couldn't bear to tear himself away. He wanted to cling to each moment, each sensation, and commit it to his memory.

"I don't want to deal too lightly with your emotions or take advantage of you."

"I don't mind." Hector grinned, challenge apparent in his bared teeth. The expression was not that of an established dignitary, but of the dashing, daring troublemaker Eliwood had always known him to be.

"I'm being serious, Hector."

"So cut it out."

They kissed again, and Hector's heart thrilled at the feeling of Eliwood's smile against his mouth.

As they found a comfortable rhythm, Eliwood's hands began to wander, exploring Hector's shoulders, his chest, the triangle of tanned skin left exposed by the undone button at his throat. He couldn't help but marvel at the way Hector—strong, indomitable Hector—fell to ruin at his touch.

"How long?" he asked.

"I don't know," Hector admitted. He laughed, low and dark. "Too long."

His love for Eliwood was a quiet, constant thing, always thrumming in the background, sure and subtle as the blood that coursed through his veins. He had lost track of where friendship ended and something more began, so entangled were his feelings and their bond with his very sense of self.

"And you really intended never to tell me? I thought there were no secrets between us."

Hector shrugged, a simple rise and fall of one broad shoulder. It wasn't a sufficient response, and he knew that, but Eliwood did not press him further.

"You must think me blind and stupid."

That wasn't what Hector had expected to hear. "Why would you say that?"

"Everyone else seems to have known already! Lyndis... Kent and Sain, even!"

"Oh, what do they know? Lyn and Sain gossip like a pair of old women."

Eliwood remained somber despite Hector's playful tone. He looked as though he held something bitter on his tongue. "What about your wife?"

Hector barked out a laugh. "Oh, Mer knew all along how I felt about you. She saw through me straight away."

When he saw the pained look on Eliwood's face, he knew that wasn't what he had been asking.

Hector lowered his head with a sigh. "I loved her, truly, but it was—" He glanced up at Eliwood, then quickly away again. "It wasn't like this."

His late wife, the Lady Meredith, had been as strong-blooded as he, if not more so. She could handle a blade with the prowess of a hardened soldier, and the only thing she'd kept sharper than her sword was her tongue. She'd been turning (or frightening) suitors away for years by the time Hector came calling. Her family was beyond relieved when at last she settled down—with a man of his stature, no less—but they each knew the truth about one another. She never insisted on accompanying him when he paid his visits to Eliwood, and he turned a blind eye when she'd disappear into darkened rooms with her favorite chambermaid.

"We nobles rarely have the luxury of marrying for love," Hector said. "You know that. It was a matter of duty, nothing more."

"Yes, of course." Eliwood smiled thinly. His hands shifted restlessly in his lap, and Hector knew that he was fiddling with the silver band that still adorned his left ring finger.

"Hey, listen." Hector took Eliwood's hand and gently laced their fingers together. "Me and Meredith... We never had a chance at what you and Ninian had, Eliwood, neither of us. But we made do and we were happy. I mean that."

Eliwood searched his face for a moment, eyes wide, then let himself collapse against Hector's chest, their hands still clasped tightly.

"I still love her," he said, barely louder than a whisper.

"I know you do."

"Does that make this wrong?"

"I don't know. Does it feel wrong?"

"No." To Hector's relief, there was no hesitation or reluctance in Eliwood's voice. "I love you. But then, I've always loved you. You are a part of me."

"I know."

Eliwood sat upright, brows set in a stern line. "That's it? You _know_?"

Hector could hardly conceal his grin.

"Smug bastard." Eliwood sulked, but resettled himself with his head tucked beneath Hector's chin.

"If it makes you feel any better, it was a long time before I knew, really." Hector spoke slowly, with the cadence of a man admitting to a crime. "How I feel, I mean. And then, for an even longer time, I tried to fight it. You had Ninian, and I respected that, and then she was gone, and you were..."

Eliwood was quiet, but he tightened his grip on Hector's hand.

"Well, after that, I just sort of assumed. You have your tastes, and I have mine."

"Truthfully, I had never really thought about it," Eliwood said. "Ninian was the love of my life, and after her I... It felt disloyal to so much as look at anyone else that way."

"I understand," Hector said softly. "I never wanted to impose. I always worried that my feelings would discredit our bond, somehow. I just—I've never been afraid of loving something too much before."

"Do you?"

"What?"

"Love me." Eliwood's tone was light, more curious than accusatory. "You haven't said it yet."

Hector held no illusions when it came to love. It was not the stuff of flowers and fairy tales. It was legendary, a bond so strong it could endure anything.

For him, love was long nights spent beside the hearth with Uther, trading stories and secrets and laughing until his cheeks hurt. Love was the feeling that filled his chest when he was helping Lilina learn to walk and to read, when he made her smile or dried her tears, when he let her fall asleep in his arms. Love was... this. Here, with Eliwood. It was comfortable, and familiar, and _right_. Hector looked at Eliwood and, if only for a moment, it was just as the sappy bards' songs and maidens' tales always said. He looked at Eliwood, and he knew.

"I love you, Eliwood." It took more effort than he'd thought, letting the words he'd kept lodged at the back of his throat for so long pass his lips, and Hector almost wanted to hold his breath.

Eliwood responded with a kiss, as gentle and sincere as anything else he did, and Hector encircled him in his arms, and that's where they stayed, curled into one another, hearts beating in tandem, as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I agonized over this one for m o n t h s. it was important to me to get it exactly right. I love these two idiots and they deserve the best.


End file.
